@FantastiKelly: My husband gets so mad when I introduce him as my first husband.
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@daemonic3: Dr: You have palpitations Me: You mean my heartbeat's off? Dr: Hearts can't beat off HAHAHAHA Me: HAHAHAHAHA- [goes into cardiac arrest]
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Now that HBO has a partnership with Sesame Street we'll finally learn how to spell the names of all the Game of Thrones characters.
@DaddyJew: Waitress: what will it be? Me: I'll have the rum cake but with the rum on the side W: so u want a glass of rum & a cupcake? M: yes please
@lovemydogduck: I will be tweeting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.