@AnitaHelmet: My husband hasn't forgiven me for answering 'Okie dokie artichokie' instead of utilizing the more socially acceptable phrase, "I do."
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@CardiganGangsta: Someone left a grocery list in this cart that said ‘cheese and shit like that’ so I know my soulmate is out there.
@SincerelyTumblr: Me: can remember the lyrics to 898989 different songs. Me: forgets what i had for dinner yesterday
@Parentpains: Avoid confrontations in the work place by slashing your coworker's tires while they sleep.
@Jinxy00: Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like BBs, rub one ball & everything moves.