@SuburbanComa: My husband is turning 58 tomorrow. Join me wishing him "Jesus, you're how old?"
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@notacroc: [Barnes and Noble] CASHIER: anything else? ME: four barns and your finest noble please CASHIER: get out
@ColorMeScradd: Me: Got any more of those debbled eggs? Friend: Did you just say DEBBLED eggs? Me: No, I said the right thing...
@howe007: Women’s magazines: Page 5: accept yourself for who you are Page 8: how to lose 10lbs in 1 week Page 12: best cake recipe