@SuburbanComa: My husband is turning 58 tomorrow. Join me wishing him "Jesus, you're how old?"
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@CoopSoSarc: Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago
@bornmiserable: You know you're on drugs when you're talking to your kids about drugs and you don't have any kids.
@WienerToboggan: "honey, I can't wait to do missionary later!" *Gets excited* *Wife leaves for third world country-helps many*