@LurkAtHomeMom: My husband just left town for a work trip. I didn't want him to miss out on anything so I made him a mixtape of the kids whining.
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@zolofighter: " Wife: there is a man at the door with a mustache. Husband: tell him i've already got one. "
@INDlAN_: HER: let’s be open about how we really feel. I’ll go first I love you. ME: Ok well... I really, really, don’t want Naruto to end HER: wtf?
@Peauxtassium: I’ve always taught my children that no matter what race or religion, all good looking people deserve respect.
@Cheeseboy22: Somebody Cadbury Cream egged our house last night. I'd be upset, but I've been too busy licking off the bricks.