@DarkerWillow: My husband thinks it's really weird I only like green bananas and I think it's really weird I have a husband.
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@realHamOnWry: *sets trap* *snares the Easter Bunny* *pats his head* *lets him go* What?!?...What did you think I was going to do, you savages.
@rickkondell: The plural of beer is beer, which is very convenient when you are explaining to your wife why you were late coming home from work.
@lyric_intent: The most awkward part of being the first person to write something down, was then explaining to everyone that they were now illiterate