@RocketRankoon: My ID expired so I can only go to the liquor store where they remember me: the one where I asked the cashier out and threw up on the floor.
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@pinupteacher: I'm starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I'll never ever use one again. I'm so excited about it. Yes.
@Amburglar_: "Wow! Go show your mommy!" -what I say to any child talking to me for more than 11 seconds.
@Pro_Jones_: Friend: You're going to be an usher at our wedding. Is that okay? Me: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
@anhonestmess: A popcorn necklace is a nice way to tell someone you want them to be attacked by birds.