@TheCatWhisprer: My iPhone won't even recognize my fingerprint unless it's got crumbs on it.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Anytime a frozen meal tells me to "cut holes in film to vent" I pretend like I'm Norman Bates with a knife, complete with sound effects
@Leemanish: Got a couple of real nice piles of dog shit on your lawn there. Sure would be a shame if something was to... you know, "happen" to them.
@batkaren: Dinosaurs never could've survived til the present day. Could you imagine a stegosaurus in a Honda Civic? It'd be totally ridiculous in 2017.
@myonlymizztake: Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.