@TheCatWhisprer: My iPhone won't even recognize my fingerprint unless it's got crumbs on it.
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@Moi_RaRa: I like long walks while holding hands.. which always seems a little awkward with strangers on the beach.
@WilliamAder: Unable to stop their phones and washing machines from exploding, Samsung announced today they're changing their name to the ACME Corp.
@StephenKing: Breaking News: Reliable sources reveal that Donald Trump is actually Cthulu. The absurd hairdo isn't absurd at all. It hides the tentacles.