@Paxochka: My IQ score says I'm intelligent. My dating history disagrees.
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@Reverend_Scott: 911: What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't? No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.
@KeetPotato: leonardo dicaprio would have won 8 oscars by now if he was named after one of the cooler turtles
@sammyrhodes: Watching Dora with the kids this morning. I wish her parents would just get her an iPhone.
@JermHimselfish: I dream of living in a world where men are judged not by the color of their skin, but by the contents of their iPod.