@Paxochka: My IQ score says I'm intelligent. My dating history disagrees.
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@LovestruckLayla: So I have one coworker who uses "irregardless" and another who uses "unappropriate" and now I'm over trying to conversate with these people.
@zachreinert03: Slasher films are so unrealistic. Anyone could out run a guy walking with a chainsaw. That's why I train running with a chainsaw.
@Qckhd: Girlfriend kept nagging at me to put the toilet seat down. So here I am, crying in the middle of a field, with the seat & a shotgun.