@NotThatKristi: My jeans say "no more Christmas goodies" but my leggings are like "we got you, gurrrl"
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@tequilasaltlife: He's going to change just for you? Wow, you must be a very special kind of stupid
@NicestHippo: "You're sure you understand stock trading?" ME: Yep "Then why (holds up card) did you trade our Google shares for a Charizard?"
@noneofyours99: I showed my family facebook a few years ago, and haven't heard from them since. Best decision ever