@librarianfonz: My job is like defeating a final boss in a video game: I spend hours doing it, and when I finally do, it doesn't matter to anyone else.
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@brendohare: Hello. I'm the guy who sleepeats thousands of spiders every year and screws up the average for everyone. Sorry for scaring you.
@JazzJazzybc: I always said I'd never chase after a man, but the older I get, I seriously consider power-walking after one.
@simoncholland: I tried to help by doing my daughter's hair once and a kind old lady offered her a hot meal and a warm place to sleep.