@darinlovesbacon: My kid asked me where babies came from and I was like "Dude, ask your Mom. I still can't figure out why Garfield talks and Odie doesn't."
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@NightTraumaDoc: Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
@JPHaddadio: They should put a statue of me next to the Statue of Liberty so immigrants know the American Dream is hit or miss.