@darinlovesbacon: My kid asked me where babies came from and I was like "Dude, ask your Mom. I still can't figure out why Garfield talks and Odie doesn't."
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@TeejayRush: Guys who try to pick up women on Twitter are a bit sad... Ladies, if you agree, DM me your number so we can talk about it...
@mantej: Haters gonna hate. Tweeters gonna tweet. It’s actually pretty obvious that verbs are performed by their respective nouns.
@IamEnidColeslaw: rroses are red, violets are blue, Valentine's Day was invented by big corporations so they could sell more anti-depressants
@Home_Halfway: "I'm gonna make a cool new social media site for college kids, but only for a few years. Then it'll be a mom scrapbook" ~ Mark Zuckerberg