@skizzyl: My kid keeps getting his pants leg wrapped in the chain of his bike, it's a vicious cycle.
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@alucardsdream: If zombies ever do attack, I'll just skip coffee that morning. They'll leave me alone because they'll think I'm one of them.
@dinnersruined: *hands you a marijuana* "This one's called Air Bud. It'll make you play basketball. Also it might turn you into a golden retriever."
@WigCannon: before stairs there'd be someone on the second floor and people would ask "how'd you get up there" and they'd be like "i don't know"