@skizzyl: My kid keeps getting his pants leg wrapped in the chain of his bike, it's a vicious cycle.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheToddWilliams: [apiary] ME: Are you the beekeeper? BEEKEEPER: Yup ME: Can I get some? BEEKEEPER: Nope ME: Is it because you k— BEEKEEPER: I keep them
@sdhintz: 2 things lotion won't let you do when it's on your hands because it's evil: 1) escape the bathroom 2) open a beer
@Sarcasticsapien: Rejecting someone by saying "you deserve someone better" is a fun way to let a person know you'd rather insult yourself than to date them.
@BuckyIsotope: [on first date] Yes I'll have the- *whispers to waiter* I don't speak French *points at menu* "The French toast, sir?" Yeah. 6 of those.