@ElKnuckelhombre: My kid said he was gonna jump off the roof using a blanket as a parachute and I was like "That won't work you idiot. Go get my umbrella".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PaulGibson1963: The first Hobbit movie was half the book. The second, about a quarter. In the sixth instalment, the group has a 3 hour breakfast and a nap.
@pinupteacher: ME: What tattoo should I get? TATTOO ARTIST: Something meaningful that represents love and connection. ME: One ravioli on my thigh please.
@fuzzlime: A pinata at my funeral so people will be happy.. but filled with bees so they're not too happy.