@KamaroPayne: My kids are gone for the WHOLE day. nnI miss them SO much, I can barely bring myself to pop this 3rd bottle of Champagne.
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@juskewitch: If you're in a clown posse, you don't need to tell us you're insane. We know. Nobody's thinking you're an emotionally stable clown posse.
@AndyShulk: When I see a flash mob in public I immediately join in to make it seem like they didn't practice enough.
@Try2StopME: My girlfriend started complaining about my lack of interest in her family. So I dated her sister..
@aPunch2theJunk: I work with a guy named Rick. I'm pretty sure he spells his name with a silent "P."