@FilthyRichmond: My kids are mad at me because I never unwrap the cheese slices in their sandwiches
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@laura_payton: Registering my annual objection to Groundhog Day. We live in Canada. There will most definitely be six more weeks of winter. I don’t need a rodent to tell me this.
@Brianhopecomedy: 5 year old: "That's a big truck!" "It's a moving truck." "ALL TRUCKS MOVE." Why am I the one that feels like an idiot?
@Piecezilla: Welcome To Earth. You're not supposed to rub your eyes when they itch even though nothing feels better than rubbing your eyes when they itch