@KellyMeldrum: My kids are so aware that I'm a bad driver that if I start the car before they have their seatbelts on, they cry.
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@krissywillbretz: Me: In high school I was voted most likely to cut my own bangs with safety scissors. Interviewer: I meant any professional achievements.
@awkwardphilippe: Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de brie
@GoldenSpirals: My neighbour left her outdoor stereo blaring & went out for the night. I now have a set of speakers for sale, minus the wires. Call me.