@KalvinMacleod: My kids are starting to ask questions that I don't know the answers to so I'm going to have to trade them in for dumber models.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RorynotRoy: Give a man a compliment & he'll be all, "Yeah, I've been working out." Teach a man to fish for a compliment & he'll be all, "I feel SO fat."
@lawking30: She asked for my name, if I'm alone, had me remove belt/shoes & take out what I have in my pants. Interactions w/TSA agents are underrated.
@OmarImranTweets: "Y dnt u Muslims tell ISIS to stop" Ok hold up *pulls out iphone* "Yo ISIS habibi,its me plz stop" ISIS:"ok habibi sorry,shisha tonight?"
@sammyrhodes: My wife: "Can you pass me the stud finder?" Me: "You're the stud finder!" *deep, awkward silence* Me: "Here it is."