@El_nacho_Nigre: My life would be so much better if I could use a smokebomb to conceal my escape after being turned down by a girl.
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@girlontapas: You know when you buy a bag of salad and it starts getting brown and has gross water in it... Doughnuts never do that.
@thestlouisan: I just want to have enough followers so that my children can tweet comfortably for the rest of their lives.
@WilliamRodgers: How to get a job on Game of Thrones: Q: Can you act? A: Sorta Q: Will you get naked? A: Yes HIRED!