@El_nacho_Nigre: My life would be so much better if I could use a smokebomb to conceal my escape after being turned down by a girl.
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@mrjohndarby: Dr: Does it hurt when I do this? Me: Yes, a bit Dr: And now? Me: Yes, that's very painful. Please stop showing me photos of you and my ex
@flashember: [Giraffe Weatherman] "Yes Bob, we have a major blizzard happening up here but *giraffe lowers head* on the ground we're still looking good."
@itswrigley: I never did think of myself as beautiful, terribly attractive, yes, but not beautiful.
@CornOnTheGoblin: ? Hey there Delilah, what's it like when u go grazing I know u said you're not a cow but girl this milk sure tastes amazing Did u just moo ?