@garrydavenport: My local cinema was broken into last night and goods worth £15,000 stolen: a packet of popcorn and a medium Coke.
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@just1fool: Apparently there's this Pokemon character that's a pile of garbage with a face so now I'm famous I guess.
@Dawn_M_: Homeless people are so lucky. They don't have to pay rent and can eat as many pigeons as they want.
@LuvPug: If Zombies ever switch to eating souls, I'll have the last laugh on everyone whoever made fun of me for being a Ginger
@sofarrsogud: My bank balance is a gentle reminder that in a few years my twins will have to battle it out for one college place!