@Jake_the_God: My math is never so quick or exact as when I see an old flame with a child.
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@TheTweetOfGod: "I want my country back" is a fair and accurate thing to say if at one point in your life you owned the country.
@TheMichaelRock: Bad news: I just stepped on the cat. Even worse news: I think I just created a Nicki Minaj song.
@PimpleEye: It's not that I don't like drinking, it's just I find that my aim when throwing bottles in your face is allot more accurate when I'm sober.
@TravZA: If you're going to a wedding this weekend and you see a random stranger dancing his nut off on the dance floor, I'm sorry, I lost a bet.