@Jake_the_God: My math is never so quick or exact as when I see an old flame with a child.
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@Mindless4Miles: Saw a bird at my feeder shit on another bird's head and that bird just kept right on eating. I've never before felt this close to nature.
@NervousJr: There's awkward, and then there's listening to a man try to have a conversation with his hairdresser.
@TheAlexNevil: When a child gets a bad cold that’s when parents feel completely powerless. You just know that little Petri dish is gonna get you sick too.
@david8hughes: [first day as Niagara Falls tour guide] And to the left you can see [frantically flips through your guide] water.