@MommaWordsIt: My milk of magnesia brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, you sounded younger on the phone.
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@mccoy_paul: While those 2 guys at the bar were just fantasizing about what they'd do with powerball winnings, I stole their ticket.
@t0shiba: Sometimes I type a 'C' when I meant to type an 'A'. And now I have to apologize to my 'Aunt'
@ValeeGrrl: Husband said, "If you were really THAT funny you wouldn't have to always say COME ON, THAT WAS FUNNY." So now I have a tombstone to select