@RandiLawson: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but they stay for the intelligent discourse about Benghazi
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@SkunkFarts: There's a girl that I hate in my office that's white but looks like 'Precious'. I've been calling her "Pressure" & blaming my farts on her.
@FatherWithTwins: *young woman walks by Wife: Wow, she looks really good, don't you think? Me: NO WAY, I'M NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THAT