@breatheandlove: My mind has been wandering so long, we're pretty much in a long-distance relationship.
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@DaddyJew: Parent: my child's reading at a 3rd grade level, what reading level is your son at? Me: he knows some curse words but not all of them yet
@QwertyJones3: "Yes, I need to check in." "Sir, this is a burn unit." "Yeah, I got hit hard with a series of jokes about my mom, and I had no comeback."
@Contwixt: "Shrooms before brooms," I say to the coven of stereotypical witches who have quite magically appeared in my living room.