@JennyJohnsonHi5: My mom asked me a question and when I went to answer she said, "Hold on I can't hear you. I gotta turn on the light." The dark was too loud?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WeissBrandon: YOU ARE GROUNDED!!!! ~ me, yelling hilarious shit at the beef in this grocery store.
@juliussharpe: That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology.
@sabre_squirrel: *saves dandruff for 7 years to throw as confetti at friends wedding that i never really liked*
@chuuew: ME: hi handsome, is this seat taken? BUS DRIVER: yes, but you could literally sit anywhere else