@JennyJohnsonHi5: My mom asked me a question and when I went to answer she said, "Hold on I can't hear you. I gotta turn on the light." The dark was too loud?
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@ipalatsky: As a little girl, I dreamt of being whisked away by a handsome prince. It's my husband's dream now.
@TEXASVETERAN: I just read a bumper sticker that said, "Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you love Satan." Sent from iPhone.
@Try2StopME: *washing car* Neighbor: "You washing your car?" Me: "No. I'm watering it to see if it grows into a bus."
@ventivodkacran: I have too much stuff in my closet, so no one can be certain Tom Cruise isn't hanging out in there, too.