@smickable: My mom is having a hysterectomy. This is like the time I moved away to college and she tore down my childhood bedroom.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheToddWilliams: Millions of years ago dinosaurs ruled the earth but like all great empires they were eventually brought down by corruption and voter fatigue
@_NTFG_: I'll tell you what's wrong with modern society. Nobody ever drinks out of the skulls of their enemies anymore.
@foodfacenow: *At restaurant trying to impress date* Me: How are these prepared? Waiter: The dinosaur chicken nuggets? In a microwave. Me: Excellent.
@Michael_Erhart: Person: "That's a beautiful baby." Me: "Thanks, I named him after his grandpa." Person: "Awe, what's his name?" Me: "Grandpa."