@warhorse76: My mom used to make sure we were wearing our seatbelts in the back seat by slamming on the brakes. She was a kind soul.
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@WGladstone: I put my pants on like everyone else: with difficulty, blaming the dryer for shrinking them.
@ArfMeasures: [Wife rubbing her temples after I told her how my job interview went] What...what do you mean, you "tried some breakdancing"?
@robdelaney: Vaccines comes from doctors --> Doctors are part of Obamacare --> Vaccines are BAD #Bible #AmericanSniper