@KDsMorning: My mom would probably complain in my funeral about how somebody's son died better
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@Supafunkadunka: Women my age expect a man to have his shit together by now. Time to start dating younger women.
@NoogsCorner: The first guy to ever throw water at girl in a white shirt probably broke the record for the number of high-fives received in one minute.
@Whymze: [pulls out acoustic guitar at a funeral] alright everyone stop being all [finger quotes] sad this next 1 is dedicated to a very sexy widow.