@SnizzleFrizzle: My moral compass must run on solar power, because it never seems to work after dark.
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@themorris23: *Hulk smashes thru courtroom wall* SOMEONE ASK FOR INCREDIBLE WITNESS?! Judge- no, CREDIBLE! Hulk- shit HULK VERRY SORRY BOUT YOUR WALL
@timdonakowski: If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they'd put cocaine back in their recipe.
@thatcarlygirl: Me: When I have a rough day, you're there. When I need to cry, you're there. Nobody helps me gain 10 pounds the way you do. Cheesecake:
@Abusitron: ME: I need you to look at my balls, doc *removes pants* DR: Ok what seems to be the problem? ME: *swivels hips sensually* Nuthin