@SnizzleFrizzle: My moral compass must run on solar power, because it never seems to work after dark.
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@KevinBuffalo: Honey, I gained weight to prevent women from hitting on me. You think I want to look like this? I do this for you.
@ryaninco: Me: I'll take another drink. Bartender: Would you like for me to call you a cab sir? Me: No it's cool he's driving * points at chair*
@justabloodygame: Batman could have used his wealth to help Gotham's poor and disenfranchised. But no, we really needed another violent leather fetishist.
@Mr_Kapowski: "Don't tell me how to raise my cat!," I yell at my 7 y/o daughter who's chastising me for baby birding a tuna sandwich into my cat's mouth