@SnizzleFrizzle: My moral compass must run on solar power, because it never seems to work after dark.
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@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "I think this patient is dying. What blood type is he?" Nurse: "B positive." Doctor: "Okay. I don't think this patient is dying."
@AbbyHasIssues: I like to do laundry in stages. For example, right now I’m in denial that I should be doing laundry.
@Playing_Dad: Customer Service Person: is there anything else I can help you with today? Me: Is this a date? It feels like a date now.