@FatherWithTwins: My mother-in-law came over and made me dinner, and now I'm wondering if I should have married her instead.
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@ThisOneSayz: He: did you burn dinner again? Me: it's a Flambé. He: it's mac and cheese Me: it's French mac and cheese!!
@space0tter: Date *pulls out clipboard* "Name?" "Uh.. Beth." "Ok.. Check. Kids?" "No" "Check. Club Penguin username?" "What's that?" *drops clipboard*
@Mr_Kapowski: I'm gonna buy some cheese and put it behind glass with a sign that reads "In queso emergency, break glass"
@stevevsninjas: [immortal aliens studying us] After about 80 years, they enter a larval stage and lie dormant underground. We don't know what happens next.