@FatherWithTwins: My mother-in-law came over and made me dinner, and now I'm wondering if I should have married her instead.
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@curlycomedy: The worst part about the measles outbreak at Disneyland was still the price of admission.
@TheAlexP: Forgot to turn on the grill, burgers been on there for half an hour, I know cause the tv show I like's over & nothing's on fire.
@bingowings14: I'm just a boy, standing in front of a printer wondering if he forgot to press something.