@FatherWithTwins: My mother-in-law came over and made me dinner, and now I'm wondering if I should have married her instead.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JasonBanksComic: Kids eat free today? Nice... In that case, I'll have a water and my son will have the steak and shrimp combo with a kids bud light.
@mydmac: I joined Twitter to have something to do while I waited for the repairman. It's only been 3 years, he should be here any month now.
@AndyAsAdjective: Did you dream of me, baby? -Are you a swimming pool full of Lucky Charms & milk? No, silly. -Then no.
@trentistweeting: Bee Gees Songs: Saturday Night Fever Sunday Night Scurvy Monday Night Measles Tuesday Night Typhoid Wednesday Night Whooping Cough