@FatherWithTwins: My mother-in-law came over and made me dinner, and now I'm wondering if I should have married her instead.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JimGaffigan: A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
@chuuew: I'm not sure if this snake is trying to ask me a question or if he's just eaten a candy cane.
@PoblicMenace: If using your 4yo as a remote control to fetch things makes you a bad parent, then I'm a bad parent... A bad parent with an ice cold beer.
@tastefactory: We really are the most blessed generation. We've had 7 iPhones and 7 Fast and Furious movies.