@jake_lach: My neighbor and I accidentally made eye contact today when she caught me making a sandwich in her kitchen
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ChrisRGun: I don't hate people for their skin, creeds or heritage. I hate them based on how fond they are of Minions.
@Adar79Angie: "You can't build your own man." They told me. But they underestimate my low standards. And my shopping cart full of luncheon meats.
@doktorj: Adult me is pretty pissed that you can't learn to dance perfectly in the span of an 80's montage.