@jake_lach: My neighbor and I accidentally made eye contact today when she caught me making a sandwich in her kitchen
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@SeanINCypress: Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
@Phook75: It surely can't be a coincidence that Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog share the same middle name
@weinerdog4life: The cops say I have to stop trying to fist fight the guy who tries to feed my house letters everyday.