@Underchilde: My neighbor said the next time he comes over he’s bringing the whole family, so I told him I couldn’t wait and then I burned my house down.
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@DannyZuker: I fear all this talk of llamas & dresses has distracted us from the important fact that there is video of Madonna falling off a stage.
@Home_Halfway: WAITER:What would you like? ME:What would YOU like? W:Excuse me? M:No one ever asks you, do they? W:*tearing up* No.. they don't. Thank you.
@usermcuserface: Agent: I keep telling you, nobody is making a movie with pirates or elves right now! Orlando Bloom: (through tears) Are you sure?
@envydatropic: Nothing good can come from a gay man greeting you with an up and down look followed by an "Oh, honey"