@man_in_radiator: My neighbor upstairs bought a new treadmill and I accidentally just shot five holes in my ceiling.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TommyKarate: Local video store is offering a chance to win free iPads, so naturally, I reported them as spam.
@Jn1fer: *Writes "For a good time call" on random gas station bathroom wall *adds work phone number *Gets excited about work today
@NicCageMatch: Just saw a girl wearing a "BAD GAL" t-shirt so I yelled "NO!" & smacked her on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
@outrrracheous: Remember: You don't owe anybody anything. Unless they killed someone for you. Then they probably deserve a nice gift card.