@ValeeGrrl: My neighbor's 2yo is on my front lawn shouting NO NO NO NO. Not sure what she's protesting but I'm gonna go join her.
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@lisaxy424: Cute skinny girls wearing weird mismatched clothes: hot quirky hipsters Me wearing weird mismatched clothes: homeless lady from the 80s
@TheCatWhisprer: My wife and I just finished an intense 6-month mediation to pick the movie we're going to fall asleep 10 minutes into.
@PhilJamesson: Fortune Teller: I see a trip in your future Me [cancelling a week-long trip to Peru]: haha nope. wrong, idiot. [fall down stairs as I leave]