@ValeeGrrl: My neighbor's 2yo is on my front lawn shouting NO NO NO NO. Not sure what she's protesting but I'm gonna go join her.
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@tastefactory: Hey u should give your secret boss this Coke. *bottle says "Share a Coke w/ the Drug Maker Guy"* *undercover cop's fake mustache falls off*
@kidphonic: I keep hearing about kids accidentally dying from trying to get an asphyxiation high. What happened to drugs, kids?! We still have drugs!
@TheToddWilliams: [interrogation] COP: So you play the tuba do ya? "No, the violin" COP: Treble maker eh?
@DaddyJew: Sorry for teaching your kids to yell "STRANGER DANGER" whenever you tell them they can't have something LOL