@MarcusTheToken: My neighbors are arguing. So I threw 6 shoes in the dryer. They haven't said a word since.
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@JimmerThatisAll: The problem with Chinese food is an hour later you feel like hacking the Pentagon again.
@notfolu: I had to delete Facebook because I liked too many pictures of dogs yesterday and now the newsfeed algorithm thinks I care about those people
@BillMc7: Geese and swans mate for life. And that explains why it's very common for geese and swans to fly into jet engines.