@redhotirish75: My neighbors headboard kept me up last night so I yelled," the guy last night made her scream louder." Then it got quiet..
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@garrettbarry70: The hotel has a live band and my favourite song is "We're going for a break now, we'll be back later"
@liv_thatsme: Obama's not stupid. If he's spying, he's going to do it through an appliance Trump actually uses: the tanning bed.
@JohnLyonTweets: [parent-teacher conference] Teacher: Which kid is yours? Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'?
@Sassafrantz: I was so surprised when he said those three little words to me: "You're embarrassingly bad at math. This is over."