@ninjadinosaur1: My neighbour said I'm not allowed to feed the baby raccoons living in their shed. I wonder if they'd prefer left over chicken to sandwiches
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@Ristolable: Every time you get a haircut, you're essentially returning your last haircut and exchanging it for the exact same thing
@Dash_of_Crazy: My cat is rubbing herself all over me because she wants me to stroke her. It's like she's a drunk version of me.
@SmartassChef: If drinking too much alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking too much Fanta make you fantastic?