@realHamOnWry: My nephew asked, 'How will I know when I'm an adult?' and I said, ' When you hear your favorite Justin Bieber song playing in an elevator'
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@yonewt: Congratulations, FB friend looking forward to an anniversary dinner tonight with your "sweatie"
@druuuck: BOSS: it says here that you're too sexy for your shirt. Is that a typo? ME: *doing my little turn on the catwalk* I'm also good with Excel
@tchrquotes: What do you mean will I eat a whole rotisserie chicken? What do I look like, a guy who doesn't eat whole rotisserie chickens?