@bmarked21: My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
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@lilgapeach30: The black smoke coming from my toaster indicates a new pop tart has been selected!
@trevso_electric: On a scale of 1 to girl who just got back from a semester abroad in Europe, how annoying are you?
@ErrenMichaels: [First person to ride a horse] 'I'm going to sit on that thing and I don't care how angry it gets.'
@SashaBrenner: One of the wheelchair basketball team players has been tested positive for WD40 :(