@LolaLuvsLollies: My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"
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@CooIStepDad: "Son it's time we had the talk" "Cmon dad I know about se.." "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams" "What?" "It was an inside job"
@MatCro: *phone rings* Wife - "Quick! Pretend I'm not in!" Me - *puts lipstick on the dog and watches Sleepless in Seattle* Wife - "....""
@markedly: HER: I've never known someone to google things during sex ME: we learned a lot though HER: you screamed "ostriches are faster than horses"