@LolaLuvsLollies: My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"
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@julie2288: The hardest part of raising kids is learning to let them go... Especially when they're 19 and STILL can't remember to flush a toilet.
@bfrosty04: I dont 'scrub up' like a surgeon after using the urinal because growing up, they taught us not to piss all over our hands n arms, you baboon
@Mr_Kapowski: *wears a tuxedo tshirt to interview as a joke* McDonald's Manager: Oh wow, are you from corporate?