@LolaLuvsLollies: My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"
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@GoldenSpirals: Mom called. She was worried. Thought maybe I moved because I haven't answered her email and she wouldn't know the new address to send it to.
@weinerdog4life: Everyone is freaking out because I brought my own gavel to court, no one knows if I'm allowed to do this, the judge is crying
@michaelianblack: The only thing that would prevent my wife from going to Pilates class would be if they invented a more expensive form of exercise.