@robdelaney: My niece just said "Birds live in a birdhouse & we live in a people house!" Cute, huh? Wrong; my niece is 26 & on trial for manslaughter.
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@mattZillaaaa: [1st date] You're gonna love this place *pushes you out the passenger side door and drives away
@slyoung5: Lady came to front door & asked if I'd donate to new pool they're building for kids. I told her to hang on & came back with a glass of water
@QwertyJones3: Giving people the finger while driving just isn't effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.