@robdelaney: My niece just said "Birds live in a birdhouse & we live in a people house!" Cute, huh? Wrong; my niece is 26 & on trial for manslaughter.
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@AbbyHasIssues: I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
@liv_thatsme: Rice cakes have only 50 calories. But packing peanuts have 0 calories & they taste exactly the same.
@WilliamAder: As it turns out, if you're with a group of people, it's "Christmas caroling." If you do it alone it's "creating a public nuisance."
@DeanScott01: Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every six months about it.