@robdelaney: My niece just said "Birds live in a birdhouse & we live in a people house!" Cute, huh? Wrong; my niece is 26 & on trial for manslaughter.
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@DevilryFun: Interviewer: We offer great benefits. Me: Can I take my two weeks vacation before I start?
@TheTweetOfGod: Celebrity dumping an ice bucket on himself to raise money? Cute. Humanity dumping an ice cap on itself to raise sea levels? HILARIOUS.