@ruslg1: My one night stand is pissed because I broke the other one.
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@carlyken: Anne Boleyn: My love, I wait for but one word from you Henry VIII: New phone who dis Anne: Your wife Henry VIII: Lol which one
@causticbob: I recently got a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, "I don't know. I don't speak Chinese." Then when people ask me what it means...
@ppppolls: 30% of Republican primary voters nationally say they support bombing Agrabah. Agrabah is the country from Aladdin. #NotTheOnion