@LosLos__: My parenting book would be just a series of "Shhh" with different lengths and punctuation for various occasions.
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@murrman5: [giving mother in law my famous salad dressing recipe over the phone] 1 part vinegar, then *bites lip so I don't laugh* 2 parts baking soda
@stevevsninjas: Dad: [tied to chair] You'll never make me talk. Bad Guy: *pulls back a velvet curtain revealing a wall with hundreds of thermostats*
@LoriGallucci: "Mommy does Barbie come with Ken?" "No sweetie, Barbie comes with GI Joe, she just fakes it with Ken"