@LosLos__: My parenting book would be just a series of "Shhh" with different lengths and punctuation for various occasions.
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@rudy_mustang: STEM major: what are you learning in school Kindergartener: shapes and colors STEM major: lmao good luck getting a job with that
@notacroc: Son: why is my name Bince? Me: i missed the 'V' when i texted the doctor your name Son: can't we change it? Me: finish your homework Bince
@ItsDanSheehan: When a zoo animal dies they always call it "beloved" or a "crowd favorite" like there's some animal named "Jimmy the zebra everyone hates"