@kumailn: My parents are visiting. So I pretty much know how much gas costs everywhere
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@erikbransteen: "Speak softly and carry a big stick." -- Teddy Roosevelt "Yell loudly and talk about the size of your stick." -- Donald Trump
@AbbyHasIssues: Despite evidence to the contrary, I still maintain typing louder and harder will magically make my incorrect password correct.
@TheToddWilliams: [boxing match] TRAINER: Give him the old 'one-two' CHAMP: I'm not too good at math TRAINER: Ok...a left and a right CHAMP: Or politics
@kellyoxford: "The only way I'd go to a Justin Bieber concert, is if it was a Jay-Z concert" - my 9 yr old daughter