@seanyeatts: My parents just googled me and now they're crying
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@spotswoj: Well, she was raised to refer to dinner as 'supper' so obviously it wasn't going to work out in the end.
@jakob_huber: On a bad dinner date? Bump the table with your knee to make the water in your glass ripple. Claim a T-Rex is coming. Sprint out the door.
@aka_fatman: "I finally caught up with my son." "That's good. Progress. How did it go?" "Badly. I cut off his hand THEN told him." - Vader & therapist
@daemonic3: [helping kid w/math] What is 0.1 as a fraction? "One tenth?" Good, now what does 10% mean? "Battery low, plug in your phone?" Perfect