@seanyeatts: My parents just googled me and now they're crying
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@LOUD_Thoughts_: People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking.
@GrandadJFreeman: *painting your nails* one hand : perfect. other hand : looks like a blind cat did it.
@daemonic3: [1st day as IT guy] CUSTOMER: My laptop is down today, can you help? ME: I'll try [softly, to laptop] Cheer up, bud, everything will be ok
@bobvulfov: GPS: left—left again—take another left—ur gonna want to take this left—stay left NASCAR DRIVER: why is there a gps in here