@Kendragarden: My parents let me watch Grease constantly when I was a kid & then they were all, whoa why is our teenager always super drunk in tight pants?
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@Smethanie: Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we're going.
@hmcpherson17: Sitting outside the dentist office eating Oreos, b/c I think everyone should earn their pay.
@david8hughes: Therapist: do u communicate with your kids? Me: my son stays in his room all day & never speaks Therapist [looks at notes]: the 5 week old?
@whereami18: Saying no thanks to a CW's offer to hit me with their car so I could take the day off proves decisions shouldn't be made before coffee