@Kendragarden: My parents let me watch Grease constantly when I was a kid & then they were all, whoa why is our teenager always super drunk in tight pants?
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@AlyssaDiSalle: Do something nice for your ex today, take them out. One bullet should do the trick.
@Karissajem: Listen up, bagel man. We've got a good thing going here so let's not mess it up by you asking if I want the fat free cream cheese instead.
@Jake_Vig: INTERVIEWER: According to your resume, you like to "move it move it." ME: That's correct. I: It goes on like for... 30 pages. M: And?
@davidkenny100: Me: how much is all the money in the world? Genie: not sure exactly Me: give me a ballpark figure POOOF *I'm now the size of Shea Stadium