@prncss_fifi: My parents think im a virgin. My boss thinks Im an excellent employee. The government thinks Im an outstanding citizen. Where's my Oscar?
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@simoncholland: My daughter put a horse's head in my bed this morning. It was from an animal cracker but conveyed the message pretty clearly who is boss.
@Kyle_Lippert: Give a man a fish & he'll be all "WTF are you giving me a fish for? That's weird" Teach a man to fish & he'll be all "Again with the fish?"
@jay_as_hell: choose one to drop: 1. acid 2. bass 3. out of college 4. the assault charges 5. that thun thun thun
@Bird_Horowitz: Lets get freaky. I mean really Freaky. Like I can't look you in the eye for two days kinda freaky.