@OfficialMizGin: My parties got a hundred times better when I realized if I didn’t invite anybody I could eat all the snacks.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DaHess1: If bank website ads have taught me anything it's that white people love drinking coffee as they pay bills online in an empty loft apartment.
@FierceMess: Sleep deprivation- because sometimes you cant afford drugs or alcohol but still want to feel delusional and irrational.
@DistractedMomma: Turns out, telemarketers don't like it when 5 year olds answer the phone and tell them princess Ariel stories.