@OfficialMizGin: My parties got a hundred times better when I realized if I didn’t invite anybody I could eat all the snacks.
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@david8hughes: "HONEY, MY TOOTHBRUSH IS MOVING!" "Has it got ears?" "YEAH." "Tail?" "YEAH." "Is it the dog?" "I THINK I KNOW THE DIFF--AH IT BIT ME AGAIN!"
@OnlyFastEddie: Halloween and Valentine's day are pretty much the same thing... people dress up and pretend to be someone they're not for some sugar
@johnfreiler: if you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out
@Kryzazy: Some people dream of doing great things with their lives, my dream is to have an alpaca named Al Pacacino.