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@donni: My pessimism has never failed me, but I'm sure someday it will.
@longwall26: The ocean is full of sharks, jellyfish, man-eating octopus, and nightmare whales, but make sure you wait a half-hour after eating to go in.
@EJGomez: guy: my dog just died
girl who studied abroad: wow that reminds of this one time in Europe i saw a dog
@BeagirlNJ: Just shoveled for 30 minutes so the pizza guy could deliver my food
@sageboggs: It's like my father always used to say, "[years of silent disappointment]"
@rikpayne: Tweeting and grocery shopping don't mix. I've been down every aisle and just realized all I have in my cart is a cabbage and someone's baby.