@donni: My pessimism has never failed me, but I'm sure someday it will.
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@ArfMeasures: ME: Hmm. My biggest weakness? Tough question. I guess some people say I'm delusional UBER DRIVER: I didn't say anything
@Bearslietoo: Noticed a spider while I was driving,so I did what any normal person would do and carefully trapped it in a napkin and set my car on fire.
@mitushi: Apple managed to launch IPhone 8 and make it outdated all in a span of 25 minutes #AppleEvent
@tastefactory: PATIENT: Someone gave me pills at a party and my stomach hurts DR: We took x-rays. You have spongy dinosaurs expanding inside you right now