@donni: My pessimism has never failed me, but I'm sure someday it will.
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@kumailn: He-Man wasn't gay. He was just uninterested in Teela and was very good friends with a man named Fisto.
@QwertyJones3: [speed dating] I enjoy gardening. I've got a bit of a green thumb. Actually several of my fingers are discolored. I think I have diabetes.
@JermHimselfish: Whipped cream is just shaving cream that does whatever it's girlfriend tells it to do.