@lecalabara: My pet name for my manhood, for obvious reasons, is Whitesnake...You know, cuz... "Here I go again on my own".
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@michaeldean0116: A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his bum. Doctors described his condition as "stable". #manicmonday
@spookperson: white people eradicated entire populations for spices and yet the bay leaf remains a mystery
@ItsAndyRyan: GYM Man: "Can you spot me?" Me: "Sure" Man: *Throwing down towel* "Invisibility cloak my ass"
@OrigamiUndies: Walk up to the finest girl in the club and whisper, "excuse me, can I get at that outlet behind you hon?"