@lecalabara: My pet name for my manhood, for obvious reasons, is Whitesnake...You know, cuz... "Here I go again on my own".
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@TheHyyyype: GUY: hey pal, if you have a problem, say it to my face ME: *gets really close* i'm two months behind on my rent
@MichaelTrying: The moral of “The Three Little Pigs” is “make your house with bricks.” Why are we giving four year olds architectural advice?
@_wangwe: Make her feel like she's the only woman on earth. Because nothing makes women happier than feeling like all other women are dead.
@Book_Krazy: Calm down 'Fitbit' joggers. I can drink one 5-Hour Energy and reach my target heart rate without even getting off my couch