@lecalabara: My pet name for my manhood, for obvious reasons, is Whitesnake...You know, cuz... "Here I go again on my own".
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@LoveYoorFate: The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can't hear you" over and over
@Sassafrantz: Making a grocery list after 8 beers is awesome because the next morning I get to wonder why I need 7000 bags of pizza rolls.
@T_Longstreth: [Girl over my house] "My ex boyfriend had this weird one-man-band thing. You dont, right?" [Unclipping my harmonica holder] Def not.
@Marlebean: Hubby took the kids downstairs and is letting me sleep in! I'm so excit..never mind, I hear crying already. I think it's my husband.