@lecalabara: My pet name for my manhood, for obvious reasons, is Whitesnake...You know, cuz... "Here I go again on my own".
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@seriouslyemily: I like my men like I like my packets of instant oatmeal: Chunky and knowledgeable with facts about dinosaurs."
@NickSwardson: Congrats to the person that invented the wobbly restaurant table. It's basically everywhere now.
@WilliamRodgers: FUN FACT: Bears hibernate in the winter just to get away from Christmas music...
@kumailn: Donald Sterling saying racism is not a problem is like mosquitoes saying malaria is not a problem.