@wittwitbarista: My pharmacists won't return my calls anymore *snotty cries* something about no more refills. Quick someone sneeze on me! I'm lonely.
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@meganamram: Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won't send MY dog to obedience school
@Chelsea_Elle: Don't pay your taxes. Get sent to a cool ass prison. Boom, now taxes pay you. Life hack.
@_mindflakes: Did you know that ants are free? You can just take one!
@C00LpenNAME: I totally just realized that Dora the Explorer and Vlad the Impaler have the same middle name
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